Sunu P. Chandy

Unpacking on the L2

Entering the L2 bus, a meeting 
in her headphones, the bus driver 
stops her. Half paying attention
she thinks it’s something 
about her bus fare, but he keeps 
gesturing her towards him
and so she stops. He says to her: 
Hope this isn’t offensive, but are 
you gay? She gives a complex 
answer involving phrases 
like nonbinary presenting
and queer, without checking 
his box, but he correctly 
understands the answer
as enough of a version of a yes. 

And so, continues his inquiry. 
He explains it’s not that he 
thinks gay people shouldn’t
get married, it’s just he thinks
that maybe they shouldn’t be
parents. And some of his gay 
colleagues back at the bus 
depot got upset at him 
for saying that. But, what
do you think? You wouldn’t be 
mad if I said that, right? 

My spouse, often not 
hot-headed, paused 
and responded: Hmm, 
where do you think
you got that idea? Let’s 
unpack that. He explained
that he thought boys 
should have fathers, 
don’t you think? 

And my tomboy 
spouse, in her home 
with mostly just her mother, 
grandmother, and sister, 
came forward with evidence. 

She said she knew a lot 
of young men and 
other people raised 
just by their mamas and grew
up to be fine. She does know this
to be true. He seemed to pause,
and she continued explaining:
To be sure, a father might
be a nice to have, but with so 
many separated families, 
that’s not always 
the case, right? 
And so, they kept 
chatting. And then she 
explained she needed 
to get back to her meeting,
pointing to her headphones,
her colleague having heard
the entire exchange. 

And it was not until
afterwards, as she was passing 
by to exit the bus, just across 
the street from our home
filled with me relearning 
eight grade algebra, and 
our daughter learning 
how to make the family 
whole meals from Hello Fresh,
did she mention this part. 
You know, my beautiful wife 
and I might get a lot 
of things wrong. But I do think
we are good parents 
to our daughter. She’s 
fourteen. She’s in middle
school now. 

And with that, she went
to give that bus driver 
a fist bump. And at that 
moment, at that bus stop, 
steps from our home, the bus 
driver got up from his seat. 
He unlatched the gate
that kept him in his seat. 
He came forward,
towards her, he came forward
and said: 
May I, 
give you, 
a hug?

And when I tell my friends 
this story, they ask me 
if my wife is some kind 
of prophet. And I beam,
because, I know many 
of us like to think 
we have good hearts,
but this one, she must have
her mother’s wild grace,
in addition to her own,
wild patience, too.

Sunu P. Chandy is a social justice activist through her work as a poet and a civil rights attorney. Sunu’s award winning collection of poems, My Dear Comrades, was published by Regal House. Sunu is a senior advisor with Democracy Forward and on the board of the Transgender Law Center. Sunu has been selected as one of the Washington Blade’s Queer Women of Washington and one of Go Magazine’s 100 Women We Love.